30 Days of Thanksgiving, Day 15: My Friends From College

It is Day 15, and I am halfway finished with the original 30-day assignment. Still thinking about people over things, and I haven't run out of people yet! Today I am deliberately thanking God for the friends I made while in my undergraduate studies at Philadelphia College of Bible, now called Philadelphia Biblical University, and also my one semester at Practical Bible Training School, later renamed Practical Bible College, and even later renamed Davis College.

At PCB I had roommates, dorm mates, teammates, classmates, coworkers, faculty, staff, Chorale mates, Wind Ensemble mates, Chamber Singers mates, directors, conductors and coaches--numbering well into the hundreds of people I met, interacted with, and learned from. A handful of those people continue to be actively "present" in my life even today, after 30 years. These many people are a part of a growing mosaic (a mosaic is a jigsaw puzzle in church clothes) of influences in my life. I am grateful to God for my years at PCB and PBTS, not only for the formal education, but also for the influential relationships established there.

30 Days of Thanksgiving, Day 14: Friends from High School

Today in my thinking and thankfulness, I want to say thank you to God for the friends that I made while in High School back in good ol' Afton, New York. I should also admit that the friendships I made in high school actually had their roots even earlier in my life, for I attended the same public school, under the same roof, from Kindergarten until my graduation from High School.

While my last two years of high school left me somewhat confused about who I was, and who I was a friend to, the test of time has proven that even though I was not always a good friend to have, there were some who were friends to me then even when I didn't deserve their friendship.

A small handful of those same people are still my friends today, though we are separated by, as a minimum, hours of asphalt, and at a maximum, thousands of miles of Atlantic Ocean. No matter the distance, or the time zone, though...this marvel of electronic and digital communication we call the Internet has facilitated our reconnection and allows me to try to nurture those friendships. In truth, I have put more effort into reconnecting, reviving, rebuilding and maintaining those friendships now that I have reached into and beyond middle age than I ever did in my teenage years, when I was searching for an identity in which I could be comfortable. Back then, different things were important to me. Most of those things that seemed all-important then now seem silly and selfish to me. I now know that it was NOT what friendship might offer me, but the friendship ITSELF that was, and is, important.

Jane, Tim, Tim, and Sue (and some others who are not yet connected with me by these invisible electronic links)--I'm sorry I was not a better friend to you back then and there. I'm hoping to do better here and now. Thanks for not pulling the plug on me.

Not "Amen" But "Over"

I recently began replacing the word "Amen" at the end of my prayer with the word "Over." It's not a frivolous affectation, it is intentional, and here is the intention.

"Amen" means "let it be so", and that's a great way to agree with, or finish, a prayer. There's nothing wrong with that, so don't worry, my Amen-saying reader. I'm not scoffing at you or telling you that you're "doing it wrong." I've just begun to think about my communication with Our Heavenly Father in a slightly different way.

It comes from my military training, and particularly, radio communication. In the Army there is a strictly-observed chain of command. It's necessary and important, because in a life-and-death situation, there must be no hesitation. In remote communication by radio, this chain of command is still present.

In the "etiquette" of radio communication, the "subordinate" communicates with the "superior", relays his/her message, and then says "Over." This indicates that the sender is finished speaking, AND IS WAITING FOR A REPLY, AND POSSIBLY INSTRUCTIONS OR ORDERS, from the superior on the other end of the radio communication. The subordinate, or junior, does not say "Over and Out" or "Out", because "Out" means that the conversation has ended and the speaker does not intend to listen for any further response. It is the privilege and prerogative of the superior, or senior, to decide whether the conversation has ended.

So, when I pray, I am in the position of the subordinate, the junior, the supplicant. When I say "Amen" I signal that my prayer is concluded, and the conversation has ended. However, I am persuaded that prayer is to be "without ceasing", so "Amen" seems to me somehow out of place. I have begun thinking of my prayer as an ongoing conversation, punctuated by my word "Over" to indicate that my transmission is ended for now, but I remain "on the line" waiting for a response from my "Higher Headquarters". That response may contain an answer to my request, or it may contain "orders" or instructions, or clarification of previous orders. In any event, I want to make sure that at all times I am listening for the Commander's message.

Over.

30 Days of Thanksgiving, Day 13: Colleagues in Ministry

Today I am thankful to God (when I say "I am thankful", I mean "I am thanking God" and not just chance, luck, the Great Spirit, Fate, or any other non-specific thing or being) for those who labor with me, whether up close or from a distance, in pastoral ministry in churches here in the Mid-Hudson Valley, around New York State, in the Tri-State area (NY-NJ-PA), and elsewhere.

Over the years I have made a number of friends who are now, or have been, pastors. A few of them have already gone on ahead into Glory, and are among the "cloud of witnesses" mentioned in Hebrews 12:1. Most, though, are still accessible to me, whether by e-mail, Facebook, phone call, or even face-to-face visit. We collaborate in sharing ideas, we rely upon one another when trying out new ideas, we commiserate with one another over common disappointments and challenges in ministry, we pray for and with one another, we laugh, we cry, and encourage one another.

As I write, and as I was composing today's entry in my head during my shower this morning (no singing for me today!) names and faces cycled through my thoughts. Even now they continue like a carousel slide projector (the precursor to a PowerPoint Presentation, for those who may need me to draw you a diagram...) but I hesitate to start listing names lest I unintentionally snub a dear friend by omitting his or her name.

Later today, at our Annual Mid-Hudson/Union Association of American Baptist Churches of New York State (just our name is a run-on sentence!), I will see some of the very colleagues I am writing about this morning. I am always glad to see them, and I always feel lifted up when I have talked with one or with several of them, or have read an e-mail, blog entry or Facebook post from them. I thank God for my co-laborers in ministry, my fellow pastors.

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you today for the men and women that You have called, prepared, appointed, anointed, empowered, and all the other things that You have done and always do to put Your servant in Your pulpit in Your church today. Bless each one especially today, and please let each one know that they are appreciated. Thank You, Father, for the gift of pastors, and especially those who are known to me. In Jesus' Name I pray this. Over...

30 Days of Thanksgiving, Day 12

Today I am thankful for my grandparents: Carlton and Iva (Guernsey) Shaver on my mother's side of the family, and Milton Willard and Lucille (Davies) Ashley on my father's side of the family.

My "Grampy", Carlton Shaver, was a farmer and a postal carrier, but more than that, he was a Giant among men in his community. He was beloved by all in the area. I loved to sit near him as a little boy (on his lap if I was quick enough) and tell stories about fishing, about hunting, about snowstorms, about delivering Christmas packages after hours on Christmas Eve, or just about anything else. He was quick with his laugh, and when he laughed, the earth shook in laughter around him. I loved my Grampy, and to this day I carry his name proudly, for my parents gave me his name, Carlton, as my middle name.

Grandma and Grandpa Ashley were made of different "stuff." Grandpa A. was retired from IBM already when I became aware of what he did, or used to do, for a living. He had many small tools, probably because he worked on fine machinery. He was a meticulously neat and organized person. I remember going through his things after he died, and coming across a cigar box carefully labeled: "pieces of string too short to keep." Sure enough, the cigar box was full of short pieces of string, that evidently were NOT, in fact, TOO short to keep.

It is Grandma Ashley, though, that was in my mind the more remarkable of the Ashley grandparents. She was stern and sharp-tongued, but her Welsh heart was full of love for me and the rest of her 13 grandchildren. She was a praying woman, and I know that she prayed for me every day (probably at the precise same time each day!) even as I finished college and entered the ministry.

Though all four of my grandparents are with the Lord now and inaccessible to me, I still think of them often. Something will remind me of one of Grampy Shaver's stories, or a life lesson he taught me. Something else will trigger a memory of Grandma Ashley and her labors in prayer. Whatever it is that brings back to my mind thoughts of my wonderful grandparents, I always am willing to linger a moment on the memory, and in my heart, I smile and give thanks.

30 Days of Thanksgiving, Day 11: Veterans

Today is November 11, or Veterans Day in the United States. I am a veteran so I suppose that makes me a little more attuned to the importance of saying thanks to all the veterans that I know. Already last night someone messaged me, thanking me for my service. It brings a warmth to my soul when someone does that!

As with many families that have several generations here in the United States, my family has a long legacy of honorable military service. This year, I visited Gettysburg for the first time in my life. I have a great-grandfather who was wounded there. Of course, I didn't know him, but now I know a little about him.

Closer to me, though, are many vets. My father and his brother were both World War II vets--my father in the Army and my uncle (I think) in the Navy. I had a second cousin who was killed in Vietnam. I chose to enlist and was in the Army during Desert Storm (though I was never sent to that Theater of Operations). I had the honor of serving in the Berlin Brigade and was a witness to the Berlin Wall coming down. Had I not been in the Army at that time, I would not have had that experience!

Now, two of my sons have served in the Army, and one continues to serve today. Ryan did a tour in Iraq a few years ago, and, by the grace of God, came home physically unharmed. Matt is just one year into his enlistment, and is doing well. I am proud of their decision to put on the uniform, and thankful for their service.

I also am thankful for the service my brother-in-law, John Vaughan, has rendered our country in uniform. He is another Desert Storm-era vet, and his career extended also into the current conflict in Iraq and Afghanistan. He is retired now, having served more than 20 years in uniform.

There are more veterans in our family and in my church family, as well. Bud Hyde, my mother-in-law's husband, went into the Navy at the very end of World War II and was assigned as a gunner on board an Aircraft Carrier. Kelly's father, Richard Haney, was in the Air Force. From our church family, Eliseo Ortiz is a Vietnam vet who continues to this day to be actively involved in working with Disabled American Veterans, and serves as the Chaplain for his post of the D.A.V. Herb Waldenmaier is also a veteran. Nicole Brown and Lakisa White are both veterans of Operation Iraqi Freedom, and both continue to serve in their Reserve units today.
My niece's husband Peter Lopez, a Marine, is on his third (I think) tour in Afghanistan. My sister-in-law Chris' brother Steven Evans is in the United States now but has also done several tours in Iraq & Afghanistan. Steven Bastidas, a Marine from our church, is nearing the end of his first tour in Afghanistan. Moet Valdez, a sailor from our church, is serving out on the West Coast.

Still more vets are friends and acquaintances from various times in my life. Two come to mind: Steve Bates was my college roommate and lifelong friend. He served in the Army for a while. Chip Dickens was in Berlin with me and we met in church. We have remained friends since, though see each other only very rarely.

I am sure that I have missed mentioning some veterans by name, and I apologize in advance for that. I am thankful for all of our veterans and want to honor you and show respect for your service. I appreciate you and thank God for your courage, your patriotism, and your selflessness.

30 Days of Thanksgiving, Day 10

I'm switching over to the blog format for the remainder of this exercise.

30 Days of Thanksgiving, Day 10: this Thanksgiving project is growing on me, and I find that 30 days will not be enough. I intend to go through the rest of 2011, so it will end up as 61 Days of Thanksgiving. After that, I am contemplating 366 Days of Thanks in 2012.

Anyway, today I am thankful for the First Baptist Church in Newburgh Family, or the "First Family," as I like to call them. This family of people, numbering nearly 100 in all, is as important and as dear to me as my "family of origin" and my "in-laws", and in fact, there is often some crossover among my various family identities. My church family knows many of my family of origin members, and vice versa.

In a few cases, I have known some of my church family as their pastor since 1994, though most are far more recent in our acquaintance. This church family is marvelously diverse in age, in ethnicity, in culture and tradition, but we have found common ground in our shared faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and are steadily growing more and more into the picture of the Family of God, or the Body of Christ, as it is described in the New Testament.

The First Family just spent a month showing Appreciation to their Pastor and family, and it concluded with a great fellowship dinner last Saturday evening. Words of encouragement and affirmation, along with generous gifts of appreciation, were bestowed upon Kelly, our children, and me. All I could think of was the line by Jack Nicholson's character in the movie "As Good As It Gets": "...you make me want to be a better man." That's how I felt, and how I feel, about my church family. I am thankful every day that God sent me to First Baptist Church in Newburgh!