The Letter That Changed My Life

This morning I was asked a question in an internet-based community I belong to: "Talk about a memorable piece of mail you've received." 

The letter that immediately came to mind was a letter I received in April 1979 that changed the course of my life forever--for the better.

In the spring of 1979 I was a senior in High School and about to graduate. I had planned my life and career after high school very carefully. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I had been working for over a year by that time to earn an appointment to the United States Coast Guard Academy in New London, Connecticut. I had chosen the Coast Guard Academy for one reason and one reason only: of all the service/military academies, only the Coast Guard Academy did not require a congressional appointment. Since we had no political connections, I believed that the Coast Guard Academy was my best chance into the commissioned officer corps of the United States Uniformed Services.

However, the Coast Guard Academy is also the smallest, by far, of the academies, with just 300 new appointments each year. I had made it through every test and challenge and had been notified that I was a finalist for an appointment. There were 3,000 finalists across the country for just 300 openings. All 3,000 finalists were qualified; it would come down to a selection board.

In April 1979, while my senior class was on their way to Washington, DC, for their class trip, I was heading in another direction. As an early graduation gift, my parents had purchased for me a one-way bus ticket from Binghamton, NY, to Gridley, IL, where my older brother Don and his wife and family were serving God as a Youth Pastor. I was to spend a week with them, and at the same time he had arranged for me to work on a local pig and soybean farm to earn enough money to purchase a plane ticket home.

On the morning I was to board the bus, my mother drove me to Binghamton. On our way out of town, we stopped at the post office to pick up our mail. I ran in to get the mail while my mom waited in the car. The long awaited letter from the Coast Guard Academy was there! I ran back to the car and jumped in. My mother encouraged me to open the letter already! I tore open the envelope with great excitement and began to read..."We regret to inform you that you have not been selected..."

I don't remember reading the rest of the letter. I will confess now that my eyes filled with tears as in that instant my entire life's plan came crashing to earth. I had been so confident of the success of this plan that I had not considered any other options at all. I was now an aimless high school student 3 months away from graduation and...nothing beyond it.

Determined to carry through with the plan for the bus trip, we drove, mostly in silence, the 30 minutes to the bus station. I mumbled words of thanks and good bye to my mother, who, I am sure, wanted to comfort and encourage me, but I was having none of it.

I boarded the bus and walked to a seat near the back. The bus was half empty so it was easy to choose a seat by a window, and put my book bag in the seat next to me to discourage any other passenger from sitting down. I did NOT want to talk to anyone! I would spend the next 24 hours on that bus, all alone with my thoughts. That was just the way I wanted it.

EXCEPT...I was not left alone. Shortly after the bus left the station, Someone sat down in the seat next to me. Now, if you had been on that bus, and had happened to look toward the rear, you may have seen me, sitting all alone with my head against the window. But I was not alone. As crazy as this might sound to you, reader, the Lord Jesus Christ sat down on the bus next to me and began to talk quietly to me. Not one for small talk, He came right to the point:

"Dennis, why are you crying? Why are you so upset?"

I was less respectful than I might have been on any other day. "Lord, You KNOW why I'm upset!"

"Tell me anyway, Dennis." He was gentle but insistent.

"My plans are ruined." I complained.

"Yes, I do know that, Dennis."

"Well, then, Lord, why did that happen? You know how much I wanted this."

"Yes, Dennis, I know how much you wanted it. But I have a question for you."

"What is your question?" 

So gently He asked me. There was no accusation. No recrimination. Just..."Dennis, why did you never ask Me what I thought about your plan?"

There it was. Just like that I realized how proud, how selfish, how arrogant I had been. I should have known better. But He was right. Of course He was right! I had never, in over a year of planning, testing, training, I had not prayed about this decision, nor did I ever say, "Thy will be done on earth..."

And I knew what I had to do. I had to ask. So I started to respond to Jesus. But He was gone. He was not there in the seat next to me any more. I had another 23 hours to go on that bus, but now I had a new thought to occupy my mind.

That next night, after my brother picked me up at the bus station, we went to his church. It happened to be Good Friday, and they had a church service. Afterward, we stood in the foyer of the church, and Don was introducing me to people. One man asked me the dreaded question: "So what are you going to do after you graduate?"

Gulp! Swallow back the tears, Dennis. I opened my mouth to answer him. "I don't know for sure, but I haven't ruled out going into the ministry." 

To this day, I cannot say where these words came from, but as soon as they passed my lips, I knew what God wanted. I had my call to the ministry. It wasn't completely clear at that moment what it meant, but I had a direction.

Within weeks, God opened doors that had appeared closed, and I had a conditional acceptance at Philadelphia College of Bible to begin studies in the fall of 1979. The rest, as it has been said too often, is history.

Postscript: six years later, God gave me back what He had taken from me, and I was able to enter military service and serve my country in the United States Army. God has NEVER taken anything away from me, or asked me to give up, that He has not replaced with something FAR BETTER!

It has been 36 years since that bus ride, and I have never forgotten it, nor have I regretted receiving that letter of rejection.