Why I am "On Pause..." and Why I'm Okay With It.

NEW! Now you can listen to the writer read this essay HERE: Click Here to listen to the Scrawling Shepherd read this essay


It's Thursday, March 26, 2020.

Like most of America, and quite possibly, most of the world, I am at home. "Sheltering in place", some are saying. Here in New York, we are not officially sheltering in place. Instead, we are "On Pause."

I'm a teacher. I teach Bible classes at Harmony Christian School, grades 7-12. The 7th and 8th graders are still kids, and they know that they are kids, and are content to behave like kids. The high schoolers, of course, believe themselves to be "adults", or at least, want to be treated like adults, so except in their most unguarded moments, they don't let themselves be seen behaving like kids.

The kids, though, occasionally play this "game." One of them points an imaginary remote controller, or "air controller" (my words, not theirs) at another one or other ones of them, pretends to push a button with his or her thumb, and declares "pause." At which, the target kid(s) actually pause. Until the "god kid" (the kid with the air controller) depresses the imaginary button again and declares "unpause." (Is "unpause" an actual word? My spell checker tells me that it is not. Or, was it an actual word before remote controllers?)

Consequently, when New York was declared to be "On Pause" a day or two ago, this image of children playing resurfaced in my admittedly strange (damaged?) mind. The magic of the game is in the willing cooperation of the players. There is no actual remote control. No "pause" button. No control, whether digital, infrared, Bluetooth, or other communication link, exists. The "god" player declares it, and the "subject" players comply. These labels, "god" and "subject", are my labels, not theirs. I suspect that they don't even think about this in any kind of analytical way. That's my construct.

But in a very real sense, that is what is happening here around us. The "god" player--in this case, the Governor of the State of New York--has figuratively pressed a button on a very, very large remote control. Whether or not it works will depend to a very great degree on the willing cooperation of we the "subject" players, i.e., the citizens, residents, of the state. Will we actually pause?

When you pause an image on your television/video screen, the image is frozen. If there is a person in the image, that person is not blinking. He/she is "frozen" in place. When you "unpause" that image, the person thus frozen instantly resumes his/her action exactly as if nothing had happened, NO MATTER HOW LONG THE PAUSE WAS IN EFFECT.

And that is the point of divergence between TV pause and RL pause. (Oops. I'd better explain the acronyms. TV is shorthand for Television. Everyone knows that. But only people in the texting generation will know that RL is shorthand for Real Life.) The TV pause is artificial. It's done for convenience, so that I can get up from the comfortable chair, go get a free refill of my beverage from the kitchen, refresh my empty bowl of popcorn, and attend to other matters of personal comfort. And, I can do all of this without missing any of the content of the program I am viewing.

This RL pause is done for similar, but vastly different reasons. Similar in the sense that it gives me a chance to attend to my personal comfort needs and wishes. But that's where the similarity ends. It's not simply a matter of personal comfort and convenience. And I will most definitely be missing out on some things that would otherwise have been happening while I/we have been patiently waiting out the "Pause."

Here's why I'm pausing, as I understand it. Feel free to add to my list or challenge some of my thoughts in a comment below.

1. To keep myself as safe as possible, I'm avoiding contact with others, who may, inadvertently or advertently (evidently also not a word, though it should be), try to kill me. Or at least make me very sick.
2. Similar to #1, only possibly even more important) to keep other people as safe FROM ME as possible, so that I don't inadvertently or advertently to hurt or kill them.
3. To minimize my demand on the limited resources and infrastructure that needs to be refocused on helping those already sick, and finding an effective way or ways to KILL COVID-19. (Incidentally, I HATE YOU, COVID-19. But God tells me that Vengeance is His, so I'm asking God to annihilate you, COVID-19, using any and all of the not insignificant resources at His control. Which, by the way, is EVERYTHING. So, if I were you, COVID-19, I would take whatever time left you have on this Earth and run. Run as far as you can, as fast as you can. Run away. But it won't matter. Because there is no place where you can run and/or hide where My God cannot, will not, find you.) There. That felt pretty good.
4. To show my support of... well, of all of you, by doing my part as a citizen to respect and obey authority, to exercise good judgment on behalf of myself, my family, friends, neighbors, and strangers who share our world. 
5. To set an example for others. Not that anyone is watching me, in particular, but if I do have any influence on anyone, let my example be one that helps others, not the opposite.

When I started writing this blog article/entry today, I had a different title and another article altogether in mind. But as I wrote the first few lines, and then a few more, I realized that I wasn't writing what I thought I wanted to write at all. But I kept writing anyway, and as it turns out, I actually WAS writing what I wanted to write after all. I just didn't know it yet.

Perhaps I'll still write the other article. I still want to. Keep an eye out for it. The title is, or was going to be, "I See a Chance." Don't steal my idea or my article, though! Or maybe, do steal it. Perhaps you'll say it better.

[Update: I DID write that article! If you're curious, you can find it HERE.

I love you!

(In the words of the not very articulate but sometimes funny comedian Larry the Cable Guy, "I don't care who you are, that's funny!" I'm saying to you, I don't care who you are. Even if I don't know you. Or even if I do know you and we're not friends. From one human being to another. "I love you!" Believe it or don't. Take it or leave it. But I mean it.)